My FAVORITE Book to Help New Dads Prepare for Birth...
Book Review:
“Don’t Just Stand There: How to Be Helpful, Clued-In, Supportive, Engaged, Meaningful, and Relevant in the Delivery Room” by Elissa Stein and Jon Lichtenstein, illustrated by Beegee Tolpa
I’m a huge reader. Like 100+ books a year reader. And being a doula and newborn care specialist, a pretty decent number of those tend to have something to do with pregnancy, birth, or babies - something to keep refining and furthering my knowledge and expertise in my field. So when I recommend you a book on birth, breastfeeding, etc., you know I’ve read them all and I’m choosing a favorite!
In the last decade, a lot of books have come out aimed toward helping new dads learn about birth or how to support your wife during labor as her husband or partner. But I’ve never recommended one specifically to my clients’ significant other. I find that they tend to be in one of two categories - either a textbook-ish, way long, and probably outdated read; or a “trying too hard to be funny and relevant to men by making lots of sports analogies.”
Many of you know that my husband owns an online used book business and that’s how I find so many great reads. When I spotted this small, chunky handbook entitled “Don’t Just Stand There”, I immediately added it to my to-read pile.
Now that was a nice little book, and actually helpful beyond “don’t watch sports while your wife is in labor” After reading it, I passed it on to one of our clients who’s about to be a first-time dad here in a couple weeks!
It’s nice to look at with its well-designed cover and thick, heavy pages, and it’s a recent publish with up-to-date and modern perspectives on the current typical hospital protocol, what to expect and how to behave during labor, doulas, interventions, and other important topics. At 103 pages, it can be read in a day or even during early labor if needed.
The chapters included are: Stages of Labor, What to Bring, What to Say, How to Comfort, What Not to Do, Say, or Bring, and Fill in the Blanks (a note-taking section).
My favorite part is the “What to Say” section. It gives you 8-10 prompts for helpful things to say to your wife in the following categories: “To Empower”, “To Combat Anxiety”, “To Promote Concentration”, “To Combat Despair”, and “To Relax”.
There’s also a section of what NOT to say and do that’s actually helpful, rather than overly simplistic and obvious. For instance, a reminder to keep your eyes and attention on your wife, rather than the contraction monitor screen.
So if you’re about to be a labor support partner, whether you have a doula on the team or not, grab a copy and learn some important tips to excel in this role you have found yourself in. ;)